Wow, how quickly this past year has gone by. As I hit this next mile stone, five years without a drink, I look back and really need both hands to count all of the blessings.
In the past few months I have been reunited with my quilt “and the Flag was still there” – a quilt that I have donated to Operation Home Front and now am on the final fund raising drive to finish the Mission. You can read more about that HERE.
Then my dream of inventing the coolest, smallest rotary cutter for appliqué finally came true. I have worked for the past four years to develop The Shark Applicutter and it launched into the market with a huge success. I am very proud to have created a tool that works so well for my style of appliqué cutting. The Man Sewing brand is growing by leaps and bounds and most importantly we are having a blast creating the free tutorials and all of the other fantastic content for all of our fans!
But, you know you can trust me to give it to you straight. So as I approach this anniversary I have also been troubled greatly with an overwhelming rawness to my emotions. It has been explained to me that after years of drowning my emotions, they are growing back and they, like the rest of my body, are becoming stronger. I cannot say that I have been over the top happy this past several months. I found myself feeling on the top of the world during my third and fourth years. First due to the physical and mental improvements in my life, then for the ability to convert my dreams into action due to the newly found strength. Now as I reflect back I find myself plagued by thoughts of lost time and bad decisions from my past.
I am a man of faith, and truly believe that this is all part of God’s big plan. I know that my eyes should stay focused on the future. Looking back just leads to more unanswered questions and fear of what I was really running from when I ended up at the bottom of the bottle. Each day offers new challenges and what I wish to remind myself of is the simple decision that I needed to make. That for me, recovery is a lifetime choice that I must live out one day at a time. If you are on a similar journey I wish you all the strength in the world, keep pushing on I know it is worth it.